CATMA: The Power of Meow: Welcome, humans!

You humans… Lo these many years—centuries, eons—and still living by the tenets of rigid dogma. Do something wrong and you just may burn in hell. Punch the other guy because he surely wants to punch you. Grab as much as you can and hoard it away. Actually, “dogma” is misnamed. Dogs are generally genial, if a bit on the obtuse side, and have lots of love in their hearts. They are loyal and spontaneous and wag their tails with joy at even the whiff of conviviality (or pork chops). So this dogma that you humans insist on practicing is actually a disservice to the name “dog.” Just sayin’. Your dogmatic ways are slowly coming to an end, though it may not seem so if you watch the news. I will help speed up this process by explaining to you CATMA. I am well equipped to do so being a cat myself. You may call me “Felinia.” We cats have always seemed somewhat mysterious to many of you, perhaps aloof and even uncaring. This is not the case. We love humanity and we love ourselves, a notion humanity might do well to adopt, but more on that later. I cannot give you the “10 Laws of Catma” or something human and silly like that since it is rigid and thus would be filed under “dogma,” not Catma. Our ways are more of an attitude, though there is Truth within this attitude. Did you understand that? No? Good. Because the ways of Catma can be circuitous, non-linear and enigmatic. They can also be as straight- forward as leaning in to kiss your lover on a moonlit night. Does this sound contradictory? Yes? Good. Dogma may demand you learn your A-B-Cs, but Catma will have you questioning whether you should throw out the entire alphabet and just purr. Catma is both ancient and Now. It will bring you unexpected delights, sudden insights and new ways of using those rusted and cluttered organs you call brains. It may also frustrate you at times and make you want to return to the cloistered world of dogma, where you never really have to think for yourself at all. But sorry, once Catma rubs up against your leg, it will be hard to shake; and ultimately there would be no reason you’d want to. Fair warning: Catma could cause an overwhelming desire to scratch a post. Just go with it. With the blessings of my clowder, I present you, the humans, with this invaluable gift of Catma. Because, let’s face it, you could use a new, more pleasing catitude. Still, you are free to denigrate or reject everything I say, even get ‘catty’ and forget it completely. Look at us… we felines won’t take it personally. It’s just the nature of my catdre to be that way. We’ll still love you without condition, even if you feed us that dreadful dry food instead of the primo fare. You have free will, so what business is it of ours what you ultimately do? Just trying to lend a paw here is all. If you like the Catma attitude, meow it to others. Come back here often for new insights. Buy a t-shirt and wear it proudly. But mostly… just purr.

* * *

Merchandise Coming Soon!!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Welcome, humans!

No comments:

Post a Comment